Huddle Up.

1,2,3... BREAK.

Samurai Sword Crime

Tonight is opening night of my show "Don't Do Samurai Sword Crime" at the Red Room here in NYC. It's definitely going to be a hilarious evening and I hope you can all come to see it! I'm pretty excited since I feel like I've rehearsed and rehearsed and rehearsed. Now I'm ready for some live audience action!

First I have to get through this long day! Nothing to do but think about how excited I am...

Livin' the Dream

"In New York,
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,

Theres nothing you can’t do.

Big lights will inspire you,
lets hear it for New York, New York, New York."

Thank you Jay-Z for letting me see what I've forgotten: I love this city. I'm lucky to be here. I have not given up on the dream and THAT is what is most important.

That is why I came here, and that is why I will stay here.

To be or not to be.

God, I wish you knew what these past few months have been for me. I've been tired. I've been disappointed. I've been hopeful. I've been embarrassed. I've been questioned. I've been depressed. Unhappy. Stuck.

More often than not I've been thinking of the saying, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be."

Is that true? Could that be the answer? All we need is time apart and things will be fixed?

At this point I'm saying that I will give it a chance but I really don't know how much I believe that it will work out. I know I should hope that it does, but I'm frightened of it not working. I'm afraid that if it doesn't work, yet again I'm the sucker who bought into it.

And somehow, I always end up being the sucker.

Index Tabs and Plans

I doubt many of you know this about me, but I am a major stationary nut job. I absolutely love buying new journals and planners and sticky notes. I love gel pens and lined paper. And thank you cards. With stickers. I absolutely love stationary. It's a little weird, okay, but it's kind of soothing for me. Anyway, today, I happened to buy a new planner. Because it was made as a lined notebook, I bought index tabs and made my own. I love it. I literally sat for an hour and a half writing out dates and it seriously put me in the most fantastic mood ever. I love doing creative things and even though that may have been a bore to someone else, it was great fun for me. It was really just a time for me to sit peacefully in my room and think about all the things going on in my life without really having to feel anything. I wish I could fully explain all the chaos in my life right now, but a). it would take too much time and b). I just want to enjoy the good things and try and let go of the bad. I'm really trying to stay positive (except when you annoy me. Blair has not been laid to rest) and just get through each day. That's all for now friends. I hope you realize now how much I actually love writing these blogs.. it's like electronic stationary! I love it!