My Life in 100 words

This year I set a goal to focus on the positive. I’m so happy to end it this way! Earned that EMC card and audition often. I loved with more patience than ever. I’ve made lasting friendships and cherish them deeply. I moved and LOVE it. I’ve sold some of my artwork and feel honored that people want my work on their walls. I let my hair down and took some chances and even if disastrous, I’ll be happy to do it again. I love my life in NYC and my family more than anything. I can’t wait for more!

Bullets

*This girl is just ridiculously happy.

*I've gone on auditions galore. Here's to booking something!

*Yoga has been EPIC and I'm loving every second of it.

*Worked out a financial plan in a very artistic way... hope it works!

*LOVING my NYC life again. It comes and goes, doesn't it?

*Nothing beats a terrible movie and video games, except maybe the company.

*Livin' it up. Woot woot!

Everything We Dream Of

I can't tell you how crazy my life has been as of late. I've been going non-stop with MosesMogilee for the New Works production while working like crazy, auditioning more than ever and dating a bunch of men. Although I am still incredibly thankful to be in this city, I'm getting a bit impatient with my life as a barely-paid cocktail server. If I were a barely paid actor, things might be different. But for now, I check Actor's Equity as often as I check Facebook, and plan on booking something by the end of this year. That's my latest goal. 8 auditions (so far) left before 2011 hits, including one for MosesMogilee's production of Dog Sees God. Since I got my EMC card, I've been on an at least an audition a week. My motivation is picking up steam, and my focus is moving back tenfold to what I came here for. I'm ready for this. I'm so ready for it! I know often times I look for what I don't have and I don't focus on what I do have. In truth, I'm sure everyone is guilty of that at some point. For me, I've got nothing going on right now as an actor that makes me feel like I'm on my way to becoming a success. I'm happy with the projects I've been involved with so far and I'm proud of myself for staying actively involved artistically one way or another, but ultimately I felt by the time I reached 25 (which is right around the corner) I would have at least booked a tour or a paying gig of some sort. I guess right now the quarterlife crisis is standing front and center on my stage of life. I want to shove it away, that quarterlife crisis, but if anything, it's an incredible source of motivation.

Anyway, in other news, my parents are officially relocated in Mass and my mother is going insane being locked up in the house all day. My dad is working (well, he goes to work and they have nothing for him to do) and my cats are taking over the kitchen cabinets. Everything seems to be back to normal for them. Thanksgiving is approaching, and none of the Moshers will be together. This isn't a first, but something about the over-commercialized holidays makes you feel like a loser for not being traditional. I plan on attending the potlock at work and probably going home to watch Project Runway reruns. Just another Thursday, really.

In the dating world: I'm dating. I'm having fun, I'm enjoying the company, I'm learning from my mistakes. But I think I'm more terrified than ever of getting my heart broken again. I know it's all risky business, this thing called dating, but I have a great model to aspire to: My parents. They have found their perfect match and because I'm part of a generation that feels like we should have everything we dream of, I hope to have exactly that. My soul mate. My true love. And I won't settle, but again, I'm starting to get a little impatient. Oy vey.

After re-reading this, I think the thing that I must focus more on is clear.

PATIENCE.

Just breathe, Anna. It will all work out in the end. It always does, right?

Right.

It's a new dawn, a new day. It's a new life for me.

IN BRIEF:

*It's been too long. What the crap?

*I got my EMC card.

*I'm addicted to auditioning.

*I've got a lineup and I'm batting well, if you catch my drift. ;)

*Trouble is going to truly be my middle name.

*I remembered my love for this city.

*I need to do laundry.

*Avril Lavigne is fucking annoying.

*Upper East side women are slut burgers.

That's all for now! LOVE!

xo,

am

Preach AND Practice!

Dear Anna,

Often times you talk about moving on, and letting go, and not letting things affect you the way that they do. And that's great, really, it is. Good for you for evaluating your inner thoughts and diagnosing yourself. But with diagnostics you must follow the prescription for the CURE. What I'm saying, Anna, is this: you may constantly talk to others about how much you feel like you need to change, but one can only talk so much. PUT IT INTO ACTION. You know what you need to do. Avoid situations that make you uncomfortable. Enjoy the fact that you're a strong, independent, talented woman that just so happens to be single and can have fun. Redirect your self-destructive inner monologue to positive highway and remember that things always seem to work out in the end. Boys are not worth your tears. Money matters settle. Jobs come and go. People come and go. Please just do me a favor and remember that you are here because you are a talented girl. You moved here six years ago to pursue a dream. No one believed you would ever do that, but you did. And you're stronger and braver than most. So remember that you have got what it takes and most of all, remember that crazy ass motivation that got you here in the first place. Remember that nothing lasts forever, and this too shall pass. You'll be fine. Now buck up girl, and stop fretting about things that are over.

I love you.

Anna

Life in PA

It's been quiet. I've been reading, listening to Sara Bereilles, eating delicious food and living a life that I so want to live in New York. Alone. Hopefully this time around I can take the peace that I've found here and carry it with me. I need to truly hold on to this feeling. I can't tell you how much I despise this negative and depressed Anna that has been hanging around for a few months. What good does it do for me, holding on to this pain? I have happiness and things changing in my life that are beautiful and worth being present for. I plan on being more fearless and confident in things being as they are; happening as they are meant to. I'm looking forward to Yoga and packing up my things for a big move. A new apartment, a beautiful change of season and theater galore. I'm excited to go back to New York for the first time in months. I'm excited for the first time in months! I'm glad that although this process has been slow, I'm still alive. As said in Under the Tuscan Sun, although you think losing a significant other in a divorce or breakup will kill you; it doesn't.

I'm stronger.

With Persistence Comes Peace

I have been working my ass off. I've been juggling two jobs, one of which until the wee hours in the morning, and the other in the presence of my ex. Both jobs have filled me with inexplicable amounts of stress. But the payout? WORTH IT. I've settled my financial woes in one week. Now I can use all this money I've been working so hard for to help me move, go on vacation and finally feel SECURE again. It will be the first time I've felt that way since before Comedy of Errors. I'm so excited and hopeful for what this fall will bring, that forgetting about this rotten summer is getting easier by the day.

Today was a beautiful rainy day (I absolutely wish that there could be at least one rainy day like this a week), and I felt (for the first time in too long) peace. I received an email congratulating me on being cast in a night of One Acts and couldn't be more thrilled! I haven't been in a show since Comedy and I think part of my unhappiness has been due to lack of theater work. On the way home, I read the latest issue of Glamour and upon arriving at 30th Ave, spontaneously decided to treat myself to a mani/pedi. It was so relaxing and I didn't feel rushed to do anything. It was beautiful. It was just as calming as Yoga has been for me, which I'm going to in the morning. Day by day, my sadness seems to be fading. Of course I have my lonely days. I ache inside when I see a couple holding hands, or hearing about my friends engagements. But at least I know that I am learning to be happy with myself again. With the way I was hurting, it will take some time. And I'm learning to be okay with that, too.

In other news, my parents may be moving (again), this time to Mass. Apparently it would be on an inlet right on the ocean. I think it sounds perfect.

I guess I'm realizing that everything is perfect in some way.

Like I said, I'm learning.

Anyway, I'm trying to get some friends together tonight for a relaxing night out on the town. We'll see if that carries out, but if not I'll be happy to stay at home and read, go to bed early and wake up at 9 for some Yoga. The activities in my life have been simple, and that seems to be suiting me just fine.

Here's to moving on and forward. :)

xo,

am

Fast Forward and Live

The main focus of my life at this very moment is to focus on the present. To be fully aware of what is happening RIGHT NOW, and not what has happened in the past or what will happen in the future.

This is quite difficult for me....

But this is what I need to be doing. No longer do I want to dwell on what could have been or what may happen. Really, it's only taking up too much space in my mind, for one, and for two, what is it doing for me but making me incredibly stressed? God knows I need more stress in my life like Heidi Montag needs another plastic surgery. So this is what I intend to do: smile, laugh, work, go to Yoga, eat, and continue to actively pursue art in some way every day. I want to try to quiet my mind in a way that I have never done before and I think this is the only way that I can. Focus on NOW. This moment! Not what will be happening to me in a few days, or an upcoming bill. Everything has always worked out for me in some way, and all the worry that has come before that was a waste.

Today was the first day that I set out to be productive instead of stick my nose in a book and/or drink. In fact, today is the first day I didn't have a drink in two weeks. Anyway, I woke up at 9:30am, took a shower, applied for 5 more jobs, went on an interview and got hired (I start tomorrow!), finished a book, went grocery shopping, watched a movie and had three very entertaining conversations with three different men. I also got offered a ticket to a Yankees Red Sox game for Monday and of course I said yes. :)

Today was the first time I felt happiness in about a month.

Today was also the first day that I didn't think about anything but what I was doing in that moment.

Today I start a new journey.

UGH!!

I am so mad right now! I'm mad at him, and I'm mad at me, and I just wish that I could live a life without thinking about shit! I just want him to realize what he threw away. I want him to get it. I want to feel like I'm not withering away and to not forget to eat and to not have to deal with people that I don't care about hitting on me. I want to be with him. And he doesn't care. SO WHY CAN'T I LET GO?!

I just want to let go.

Vanish

Here is a play I wrote a few years ago that I thought I would share. :)

VANISH

CHARACTERS:

Ainsley: Early to mid twenties and 9 years old. A somewhat quirky and jaded girl. She no longer has an imagination and feels like she had to grow up a little too fast.

April: Early to mid twenties and 9 years old. Strong, tall, calm and confident. Intimidating, but incredibly sweet. She always has your back.

These actresses should not be dressed down for age. Rather it should be performed by actresses in their twenties and they should look like they are in their twenties.

One late evening in December. Ainsley sits alone on a stairwell. Ainsley speaks to the audience.

AINSLEY

I suppose at some point in our lives we all have wished to be a superhero or to have some sort of a magical power. Maybe it’s because we want to be unique. Or maybe it would be a great way to escape the lives that have been given to us by some unknown force in the sky. Or maybe it’s because you want to change the world. Me, I wanted to uniquely escape. It worked every time until one day, when my magic became its own disappearing act, and simply vanished into thin air. Everything about that day is fresh in my mind. The day you lose hope? The day you realize magic isn’t real? That is a day you never forget.

The sky was painted with sponged clouds and the air was dry without a breeze. The faded green apartment complex that my parents called “home” seemed frozen in the universe, as if it were isolated from the entire world. No cars pulled out of their assigned parking spaces, and no residents exited their homes. I sat alone outside on the gravel-like stairwell leading up to the lesbian lovers’ apartment, which, unfortunately, was immediately above ours. Unfortunate not because they were lesbians, but unfortunate for a 9-year-old to have to hear rowdy lesbian sex when she is trying to a fall asleep on a school night. Sitting alone was something I did quite frequently. After relocating yet again to a new elementary school, I had become semi-pro at not making friends. I was awkward and quiet and theatrical… to myself. I survived. In my eyes, friends meant attachments. Attachments meant the moment I became close with them, the moment I would be told by the parental units that we had to pack up everything we owned (which wasn’t very much) and move. Attachments meant judgments. Loneliness was my friend. My imagination was my best friend. My magical powers saved me from everything. They were my unique escape.

And then April came along.

I tried so very hard not to be friends with her. She was a lot bigger than I was… towering over me in height and doubling my weight as well. At the tetherball court, she dominated. Little boys ran in fear from her and she laughed. She jabbed her industrial-strength fist into the air after every annihilation.

Pound. Swish. Pound. Swish. Pound pound pound swish swish swish! April the third grader: One.

Pound. Swish. Pound. Swish. Pound pound pound swish swish swish! April the third grader: Two.

Pound. Swish. Pound. Swish. Pound pound pound swish swish swish! April the third grader: Three.

I watched her closely on the playground before I even dared to step in.

I walked the walk.

I told her straight away that she was going to kick my ass (in third grade vocabulary) and she told me I was probably right. I was a half-pint, scrawny, competitive pain in the ass who believed that I could win- that I could beat the unstoppable April Chaffin.

I served.

The shot hit directly towards her powerful right fist.

The ball shot back at my freckled face, but I blocked a bloody-nose with a wimpy left-handed whimper.

She hit it harder, over my head.

Swoosh.

She hit it even harder.

Swoosh.

It was the end at that moment.

Pound. Swish. Pound. Swish. Pound pound pound swish swish swish! April the third grader: The Dominator.

My ass was handed to me on a chocolate colored cafeteria lunch tray.

She had magical powers.

It is summer and a younger Ainsley and her friend April sit on the very same stairwell that Ainsley sat on in the first scene. The two are fidgety and slightly bored.

AINSLEY

I just made the clouds move.

APRIL

If you made the clouds move, than I’m famous. The clouds can’t move with your mind. There’s no way they could move.

AINSLEY

So explain how the clouds just moved! I wished for the clouds to move and the clouds moved!

APRIL

It’s called a breeze.

AINSLEY

There isn’t a breeze.

APRIL

You didn’t make the dumb clouds move!

AINSLEY

If I want the clouds to move… they’ll move.

Again the lights fade out and the scene changes. The girls are standing on opposite sides of the stage. Ainsley is clearly distressed.

APRIL

We’re all packed.

AINSLEY

Don’t be a big fat liar. You can’t move. I’m the one that moves and we’re not moving. And you’re not moving.

APRIL

I’m moving.

AINSLEY

But you can’t move! You’re my only friend, what am I going to do? Who’s going to beat me at everything? Who’s going to even want to be around me?

APRIL

I know and you’re my best friend but…

AINSLEY

But what? Let’s figure something out! What do we do? What are we going to do? We could… I don’t know, hide the keys to the truck? We could… we… we’re the only ones… we’re the only ones who could fix this!

APRIL

I don’t know. We can’t fix anything. It’s done. We’re packed and I’m moving and I came to say goodbye. I have to go back home for dinner.

AINSLEY

What do you mean you have to eat dinner? You’re leaving me now? We have some serious planning we need to do. We have to devise a plan! An escape! Maybe you could just stay with us…

APRIL

I can’t devise a plan and I can’t stay. I’m sorry.

AINSLEY

Okay, I’m making the time stop and we’re going to be friends forever and you’re not leaving because I’m going to make the time stop. You’re my only friend, so I’m stopping time and you’re not going to move. And we can just hang out here on the stairs and throw acorns.

APRIL

You can’t make the time stop.

AINSLEY

I have magical powers. I can make things happen! I can keep you here if I just close my eyes and wish it!

APRIL

No you can’t! You can’t change this. I have to go…

Ainsley watches as April leaves. A beat after April leaves.

AINSLEY

Bye.

Ainsley looks out to the audience and turns her back to move back to the stairs. She looks up at the clouds. After a moment of silence, Ainsley speaks to the audience again.

AINSLEY

She treaded in her converse sneakers across the evenly mowed grass, past the electric box and away to her apartment on the other side of the universe. My best and only friend had left me, alone on the stairwell in front of this complex. Cars sped out of their spots, trees rattled in the wind. My great escape became a great disappointment. My best friend became a memory. My magical powers disappeared.

Dear Person in the Sky,

It's me, Anna. I know we haven't talked much because I don't feel very acquainted to you, but I would like to just get all of the formalities out of the way. I'm Anna. I'm sure you've seen me from afar making my mistakes and living through happiness and through sadness, and letting me live how I want to. But now I need some help because I can't seem to let go of the dislike I have for myself. It's gotten to the point now where the only thing I want is to be free of self-loathing. To let myself truly feel happiness and sadness without judging myself. Without thinking I'm weak. To live life where I have something I deserve and truly believe I deserve it. I want to have the confidence in myself that other people believe I already have. I just want to stop living in fear. And I don't know how to.

Loving her.

Meet Erin McCarley. Listen to everything she has done because everything is amazing.

Too funny!

“Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.”

—Miss Piggy

Wake Up by Curtis Peoples

Courage gets hard to fight

With her the heart aches twice,

just too young to be safe.

Push her away tonight

what are you trying to fight?

She’s just the best thing you’ve had.

It’s time for you to stand up

no time for you to run

nothing will hurt as bad as

losing the right one.

Wake up, this is a chance for love.

Wake up, my friend.

Wake up, this is the chance for love.

Wake up, my friend. Ohh ohh. Uh oh ohh.

Wouldn’t turn yourself around

Keep your emotions down

This cant be fixed by you alone.

Hard as it is to hear,

The only thing that’s clear,

Know what you’ve got before its gone.

It’s time for you to stand up

No time for you to run

nothing will hurt as bad as

losing the right one

Wake up, this is a chance for love.

Wake up, my friend.

Wake up, this is the chance for love.

Wake up, my friend.

Its time to make up your mind, this time youre on your own nothing will hurt as bad as losing the right one.

Wake up.

Wake up.

Wake up, this is a chance for love

Wake up, my friend.

Wake up, this is a chance for love

Wake up, my friend.

Wake up this is a chance for love

Wake up, my friend.

The Hardest Part

"The Hardest Part"

And the hardest part

Was letting go, not taking part

Was the hardest part

And the strangest thing

Was waiting for that bell to ring

It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down

Bittersweet, I could taste in my mouth

Silver lining the cloud

Oh and I

I wish that I could work it out

And the hardest part

Was letting go, not taking part

You really broke my heart

And I tried to sing

But I couldn’t think of anything

And that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down

You left the sweetest taste in my mouth

You're a silver lining the clouds

Oh and I

Oh and I

I wonder what it’s all about

I wonder what it’s all about

Everything I know is wrong

Everything I do, it's just comes undone

And everything is torn apart

Oh and it’s the hardest part

That’s the hardest part

Yeah that’s the hardest part

That’s the hardest part

Ouch.

Another bit of my heart has broken. I'm not going to have much heart left to give the next one. I hope some sort of magic happens and mends these wounds but right now, I'm feeling like it's not worth it. You give and you give and this is what happens? I can't be so generous anymore. I can't deliver chance after chance, and give and give for someone to not put in anything and walk away practically unscathed. Yes, I took a risk and yes, one can't live a life without trying for love, but this heartbreak just doesn't feel like it's worth it. Nothing hurts more than what I'm feeling right now. And I just don't know when I'll be willing to try as hard as I tried for this one.

Circle

I've never been to a funeral or experienced an immediate death in my family where I was at an age to understand what was happening. I know it's inevitable, but somehow I thought it wouldn't happen to me at such a young age.

My grandmother is an amazing woman. Despite all the things we've been through, I've always admired her and wished to live a life like hers. Marry a sweetheart, travel the world, covet beautiful treasures and have a loving and interesting family. I want to tell stories about adventures in Egypt and cruises to Greece. I want to do everything she did. I want to still wear red lipstick and high heels when I'm 80 just to maintain that class and charisma she has. I'm proud to live in her footsteps. My grandma is suffering from kidney and bladder cancer and it has recently spread into her lungs. She has lost a significant amount of weight, can't travel from the bed to the bathroom, and has a hospice nurse with her at her bedside. She won't talk to me on the phone. Just a few days ago, I realized that her time is approaching, and I haven't been able to function. My body is constantly shaking and my stomach has been a mess from the moment I wake up til I go to sleep at night. I don't know how to cope. I'm overwhelmed and tired and I feel like everything is crashing down on me. I don't know what to do. Then, on top of all that (which is certainly more than enough), my mom told me today that when I go home the first week of July, we'll be putting my dog down.

I'm a train wreck.

I just want to crawl in a hole and never see the light of day. Everything is just so fucked up right now. I'm trying to stay positive but my emotions are eating away at me from the inside. I don't know how to express myself outwardly so this doesn't happen to me. This was the only thing I could think of to get it out somewhat. I don't think people really know how to deal with someone when they're experiencing a loss. I know that they have probably gone through it themselves, but finding the right thing to say won't take away the pain. I'm really feeling pain. And I'm feeling it and not dealing with it. I've been going out constantly and drinking is just making me feel worse. Today I decided to stop. At least for now, until my body starts functioning properly and I know I can have a drink without using it as a crutch. I've also eliminated dairy, just in case that's messing with my stomach, too. I'm starting yoga on Tuesday. Hopefully I'll be able to find some peace of mind.

Please forgive me for dumping all my shit here. I just haven't said it yet, and I don't want to burden anyone. Not only that, but every time I've tried to talk about it, I end up sobbing, shaking and feeling more helpless than before. I feel awful right now. Absolutely awful.

Redheads

It's official. :)

Scarlet Lips

On Troublesome Tuesday myself and the other two members of the tripod find unique and hilarious ways to entertain ourselves. We send sexts, we drink excessively and we talk 'til our voices give out. We laugh about stupid so-called "celebrities" and we try to convince others to join in on the debauchery.

I love Tuesdays.

These ladies are some of the most talented and giving people and I am so happy that they are by my side to stir up some unruliness. This Tuesday is no different. Although the weather is completely uncooperative, we're going to head out to a Brooklyn shindig, start a commotion and peace. I would love to be able to stay out longer but I have an audition tomorrow so I must behave. Anna... behave yourself!

Anycrap people, the show is up and running (and almost over, thank goodness!) and my life will be returning to the boring, slightly uneventful days that once were before Comedy. You'll be hearing from me more often, no doubt.

We'll chit chat soon!

xo

am

3 month hiatus

Wow! It certainly has been a long time. I truly have been so busy that this is the last thing on my mind. I don't really think many people read this anyway, but it's good to keep it updated for those who do! So, here's the 411.

My life has been so full of wonderful and life-altering experiences: good, bad, ugly, hilarious and gratifying, painful and heartbreaking. I've lived a good life these 3 months since I've last written, and a lot has happened. During most of that time, I've been working my ass off at New World as a combination cocktailer/usher. When I'm not at New World, I'm babysitting for two families or rehearsing for Comedy of Errors for two parts. And when I'm not working, I'm trying to have a good time with my friends and that red head boy who still makes me smile.

In the three month span that I haven't written, I've kept busy. I've kept a smile. And I've kept the faith that even when things get rough, they always work out in the end. And I will continue to try to do that. I have nothing but high hopes for me and my loved ones this year, and I can't wait to see how 2010 pans out. 5 months in and I really can't complain.

xo,

am

The Young and the Restless

I have had some amazing days since the ball drop brought in 2010. Still I'm finding myself so incredibly happy. I've been smiling so much that I've been described as "high" and "maniacal". I say I'm high on life and it feels so good to be so crazy. I have never been so untroubled in my entire life. On Friday I had some wonderful Shakespeare coaching that not only gave me more confidence in myself as an actor but really stirred up some excitement in me for this weeks upcoming auditions. I hope I get seen so I can rock it out. My Feb. 14th was pretty darn amazing and again, I could not keep my cheekbones down. Smiles all night long. I had a very charming and wonderful date and hope to have many more. He surprises me in very unexpected ways... I can't really figure him out but I like that. Every moment is a mystery and it suits me right now. Spontaneity has been a new adventure for me and yeah... it's pretty awesome. I love that people don't know what I'm going to do next. I also love being 24, living the life, and not getting home til wee hours in the morning. I may be exhausted from all that partying, but it hasn't effected my work routine or harmed anyone and you know what? I'm okay. I'm having fun and I'm loving it. I just love everything and everyone in my life. I think I've finally figured out how to weed my life garden so all I'm left with is sunshine and daisies. It's fucking fantastic!

Anyway, tomorrow I'm meeting up with the MosesMogilee crew to do a reading so I'm going to hop in the shower and get ready for bed. Until next time lovers!

xo,

am

Nothing but a smile.

I know it has been quite some time since the last entry, but I assure you everything is still just as magical as it was the last time I said so. My 24th birthday came and went and I had a blast. It worked out better than anything I have ever planned before and the view from the suite was amazing. More importantly, everyone had a great time. 2010 has been so wonderful so far and each day I pride myself on maintaining such positive energy and focus. This is definitely my year. Each day filled with happiness is providing me with more perspective on myself and I'm learning to love just being me. I'm pretty good about this whole "being happy" thing. A friend of mine from high school wrote this poem for me and it still remains at the front of my mind.

"To awaken and look at myself in the mirror,

eyes blinded by light which can't seem clearer,

I take a few steps and I realize

I'm not good at this.

I stare as I comb my hair,

pose as I try on clothes.

Lost in my own sense of self-divinity.

Why try being someone I'm not when myself is so much better?

I smile, walk away from a false image.

I take a few steps and I realize

I'm good at this."

I think it's pretty important for me to realize right now that I am a strong, independent and loving person. I don't need to compare myself to others anymore because there is no other me to compare to. I just need to continue to keep negative thoughts and people out of my mind and I can keep up this very new, happy me. And I'm totally in love with that. Here's to another wonderful couple of months!

Happiness: My new best friend.

I feel like every good thing in the world that could be happening to me is happening in 2010. I love my life, I feel incredibly fortunate and I love every moment of the happiness and sheer euphoria that is flowing from my body. I've never felt like I could say I was on top of the world but I find myself saying it every day. I have been known to be quite negative at times, but this happy business is way more fun! I feel like each day that something great occurs, I become even more thrilled with my New York life. All this positive creative and emotional business has given hope back to me. I can finally see that this will work out for me, because it is working out for me. I love this goddamn city! As long as you can focus on all of the amazing people in your life and the stupendous things you can accomplish on your own, this bustling city filled with tourists, taxis and theatre can finally feel like home.

Wisdom

The wisdom tooth has been removed! I honestly haven't been in much pain due to the copious amounts of Vicodin I've been consuming, I've mostly just been shaky and nauseous. And sleepy. So, it's gone. My headshots have been taken and this is my favorite that I'm getting reproduced. I honestly think any of them would have been a great shot. They all turned out so wonderfully! Anyway, since the New Year, I've got high prospects for a couple agents, I got new headshots, I was cast in another off-broadway show (I'm playing Hero in Much Ado About Nothing at New World Stages), I got that damn tooth out and now things can only continue to get better. My 2010 is fantastic! I'm loving every second of it. I love it! Even finding out people are talking shit about me... There's no other form of flattery in my opinion. Nothing makes you feel like you're on top like a bunch of haters. So thanks to them, I can't stop smiling! No matter how rude they are to me, I'm going to kill them with kindness. Being sweet is my new favorite tactic. Because, ultimately, being bitchy and rude and jealous just makes you look bad. So congrats! You can look bad, and I don't even have to work at it! Keep it up, ladies. Keep it up. I'm your biggest fan. Anycrap, I'm still pretty exhausted from all this medicine. I'm off to get some more rest and then my wonderful 2010 shall continue. I'll keep you posted!

xo,

am

Happy Happy!

This was the best New Years ever. I already love 2010.