Things are changing. Things are different. Life is a roller coaster and all that jazz. I feel like these past couple of weeks have dramatically altered my state of being for the better and for the worse. A trip to California opened my eyes a bit more as to how important the work is that I'm doing here as an actor. I'm actually out there and auditioning and that's all I can be doing until I book another show. Which I will. It also made me understand a little bit more how life is too precious and as they say, short, to be anything less than happy.
I've really been enjoying my life since returning to New York. I've been taking the time to do things for me. And that includes dance parties in my room while no one is home and taking pictures of sunsets and fading leaves or anything that I find beautiful. I have found peace in being with myself and I cherish that more than anything right now. I need that sense of focus so I can try to eliminate all the negativity that has been festering for these past few years I've been in New York. I have been waking up early and taking my time getting ready for my day. I've been going to the gym and have already lost 4 pounds. I just feel better about myself. I didn't realize how long it's been since I felt like I was taking care of me. Even looking back in my old journal entries from 2 years ago I mentioned things like needing to focus on myself because I have only spent time focusing on others. I couldn't have been more right if I do say so myself! I feel repetitive now, but I really do enjoy this time I have for me and me alone. I can do what I want and with that comes a sense of mischief. All I want to do is live my life without fear and have fun doing it. I don't want to think about all the things that could go wrong or how others are feeling because of whatever it is that's going on in their lives. I only have room in my brain for one person and I've finally decided that the one person is me. At least for now.
I wish you happiness and fearlessness. Find what you need in life and enjoy the journey!
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