The main focus of my life at this very moment is to focus on the present. To be fully aware of what is happening RIGHT NOW, and not what has happened in the past or what will happen in the future.
This is quite difficult for me....
But this is what I need to be doing. No longer do I want to dwell on what could have been or what may happen. Really, it's only taking up too much space in my mind, for one, and for two, what is it doing for me but making me incredibly stressed? God knows I need more stress in my life like Heidi Montag needs another plastic surgery. So this is what I intend to do: smile, laugh, work, go to Yoga, eat, and continue to actively pursue art in some way every day. I want to try to quiet my mind in a way that I have never done before and I think this is the only way that I can. Focus on NOW. This moment! Not what will be happening to me in a few days, or an upcoming bill. Everything has always worked out for me in some way, and all the worry that has come before that was a waste.
Today was the first day that I set out to be productive instead of stick my nose in a book and/or drink. In fact, today is the first day I didn't have a drink in two weeks. Anyway, I woke up at 9:30am, took a shower, applied for 5 more jobs, went on an interview and got hired (I start tomorrow!), finished a book, went grocery shopping, watched a movie and had three very entertaining conversations with three different men. I also got offered a ticket to a Yankees Red Sox game for Monday and of course I said yes. :)
Today was the first time I felt happiness in about a month.
Today was also the first day that I didn't think about anything but what I was doing in that moment.
Today I start a new journey.
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