Oh bother.

It's funny to me how in a matter of seconds I can go from feeling extraordinarily happy to completely depressed with my whole self. This is the part of New York City living that I never accounted for. I knew there was going to be hard work involved, but I never grasped that every day would be a struggle for me. I know that it makes one appreciate the good things, but I sincerely wish that I could have just a few more good things thrown in. I'm really just in a giant slump of crapola. I'm tired of it, I just don't know how to fix it. Paycheck to paycheck, working my butt off for very little and sacrificing why I'm in this city to begin with just doesn't help to put me in a better mood. I want to kick things. And cuss. And scream.

I think right now I'll just blast some music and try and muffle my melancholy mind.

Maybe soon it will get better.